No Lover

I was just thinking about how ephemeral romantic love is. How transactional it could be sometimes. How selfish it is. I guess it’s only evolution, that if we stay monogomous and commit to one partner to raise our newborn child, we have a bigger change of survival. But I can’t help to think just how evil it can be sometimes.

I broke up with my ex almost a year ago and throughout the months it passed I can confidently say now that I’ve moved on. However, is it wrong if I’m still friends with them? I mean, before all this happened, we used to be good friends. So can we just, I don’t know, platonically be together? Is that weird? Is that too much to ask? I know it’s a very unpopular belief and opinion to still be in contact with your ex-lover. But if you truly love this person, wouldn’t you keep them around even after a break up? I don’t know. I just feel really frustrated lately with this idea of “love”. I can still “love” them as a friend, by caring for them and man… Idk you had friends before you know what it feels like to be friends with someone that seem to genuinely care about your feelings and interests but not in a romantic way. Man, maybe I’m too fucking woke. The aromantics were right.

This has got me to be very scared of the idea of romantic love. What if I ruin this innocent relationship because once we say goodbye it’s like we never see each other, ever. That’s just cruel in my opinion. I’d rather be alone than having to ruin a perfectly fine friendship or kinship or anything-ship.